Uni isn't for me

Dear Counselling,

Ever since mid-session break, I've been seriously thinking 'what I am doing at uni?' I went to a school where university was the only measure of success and so I jumped at the first opportunity to get in to please both the school and my parents. Now that we're nearing the end of session, I don't feel that university is where I should be. However, my parents insist that I have to study and that anything else is laziness on my part. I'm considering deferring and pursuing a trade. Do you have any suggestions about how I can talk to my parents about the fact that uni isn't for me at this point in my life? - Anonymous

It's really hard to have the pressure of being expected to go to university. Students often question whether they want to be at university, especially coming straight out of school. So what you're feeling is quite normal.

It can be difficult to talk to people about important issues when you don't know how they will respond. Every parent is different so it's a bit hard to suggest specific things you should or shouldn't do. However, being open and honest about how you feel and your ideas, and staying calm and respectful is very important. Try to explain why you are feeling this way and what other options you are thinking about.

If they see anything besides studying as lazy, perhaps one way to show them you are not lazy is to do some research on what trade you may want to do and make enquiries about starting an apprenticeship or enrol at TAFE. When you talk to your parents, tell them about the trade, the work you'd be doing and what you'll get out of it. That might show them that you've taken the initiative. You may even want to ask them for their opinions to see what they are thinking and that way they can feel involved in any decision you make.

It might also be worth telling them that university is not for you at this point in your life, but it might be later on. You can take a leave of absence from your degree for up to 12 months while you consider your options. Sometimes parents feel calmer about students taking a break because they know that there is still a place for them at uni that they can return to if other options don't work out.

Talking to your parents about this can be very difficult. If you need any more advice, feel free to contact us and make an appointment. Good luck!